Totally bizarre set that I probably shouldn't have won. Had like 4 life left as Perse. But BYSing into double jokers is pretty good, I hear.
Greg Greg Greg.
Answer your messages Greg.
Quit making out with your boyfriend and answer me Greg.
Greg and Angus sittin in a tree
Oh god. Like, the old dudes? From the mine?
Oh eff no sorry, no. No. Like, this girl I'd never seen before.
Oh whew. You had me scared.
I STILL GOT PUNCHED BY A SCARY GIRL.
Too bad she didn't knock your head off.
Too bad she didn't knock YOUR head off and send it into a trash compactor
Too bad she didn't punch your heart clean through your chest and then stuff your heart in your mouth and you choked to death on your own heart.
Okay so what did you do to piss this girl off?
I was just hanging out by the old Food Donkey, doing PERFECTLY LEGAL things
And then I see this weird, uh, latina raver-looking girl yelling at a cell phone?
Cell phones don't work in Possum Springs
I DID NOT KNOW THIS VITAL PIECE OF INFORMATION ABOUT OUR HOMETOWN
THANK YOU SUDDENLY EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE
No dude I think that's like why she was yelling at it
Yeah yeah OK I get it
Anyway I try to ask her if she was lost
There aren't any raves in Possum Springs
At the abandoned Food Donkey
Anyway she turns around and like
Looks at me real hard
And then suddenly she just decks me in the face!
So I like deck her back in the face! Twice.
Knife fight practice paying off!
Anyway then she starts to pull out a gun!
YOU SAID SHE PUNCHED YOU
YOU DID NOT MENTION A GUN
WELL THERE WAS A GUN, GREG
OH MY GOD DID YOU GET SHOT?
I DID NOT GET SHOT I AM FINE
WHAT DID YOU DO
Like the only thing I could think of?
I took a swing with my baseball bat
And like, knocked the gun out of her hand!
What were you doing with your baseball bat?
PERFECTLY LEGAL THINGS, Greg! Focus!
Anyway I swing and knock the gun out of her hand
And then I book it into the Food Donkey.
And ran up to the manager's office and hid
And I guess she chased me???
I HEARD GUNSHOTS I WAS SO SCARED
HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD
OK, you know how the Food Donkey has like a basement?
Well like, I guess some of the floor boards rotted out or something
And I just hear this crash!
And like I look out and there's a hole in the floor, and a lot of I think swearing in spanish
( Complete bullshit win)
HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS
LIKE FIRST THE ELEVATOR THING
AND NOW THIS
I! DON'T! KNOW!!!!
Anyway around this time I heard sirens
And the cops showed up
And I guess the crazy lady bailed.
They didn't find her.
Aunt Mall Cop took me home.
I guess they're gonna look through the Food Donkey and like the woods to see if they can find her or anything.
Are you okay?
Yeah I guess.
It was kinda cool?
Like its not even the worst thing that's happened this year
I hope it doesn't like happen again though